Off Topic: The Chronicles of "Of Course Brugo Did" - Chapter 1: No, You Can't Adult Any More
>>> The Prelude <<<
So, the adventure kicks off with us starting in this backwater hunting & trapping town in the mountains & forests towards the north of the known world.
The other four characters, the kids, are apparently the town's "militia," on account of the grumpy, old "warrior" (me) training them in means of combat. Well, almost all of them. The "pacifist" mud-cleric... he at least knows where the handle on his mace is.
First thing's first, apparently this little town had a ceremony of adulthood. And it's sort of a big deal. Age old tradition & all that nonsense. Every time a group of kids "come of age," they have to make a sojourn up the mountain & commune at an ancient temple, whereupon they'll be bestowed with a "mark of adulthood."
Well, that's not ominous.
The town's elder tells us, "the journey is not a difficult one," (red flag #1) & that "no one has ever perished in the journey" (red flag #2). And, you (my character) should go with them (red flag #3), as my character never participated in the sojourn (Er, I retired here?, but sure).
Fast forwarding to the journey...
We had a player that had to drop because reasons... so... his character died on the way up the mountain. And then there's THAT.
The "not too difficult" journey turns out to be multiple random encounters (we're level 1 by the by) that almost wreck us at numerous points in time. And then the shrine for which we need to commune? Yeah, totally a series of puzzles.
Guess how many players at the table are good (and I mean GOOD) at puzzles? Based on our past games, if you guessed "two," you'd be right. And one... is our current GM.
Yeah, so the puzzles (that were not "too difficult") turned out to be various tests related to the elements. Like... RUNNING FROM LAVA. Or. FALLING INTO A RISING PIT OF WATER WITH NO DISCERNABLE ESCAPE.
Eventually, we got through the tests & made it to the summit of the "mountain." We did, in fact, discover a shrine. And was rewarded with...
*drum roll please*
Ioun Stones. Not exactly amazing, but at level 1, those things are super pricey! And arguably, well worth it.
Oh, and did I mention the freaking RAPTOR also "earned" an Ioun Stone? Because of course he did. And WHAT Ioun Stone did the temple bestow upon the Raptor? The Clear Spindle, which, sustains its user without food or water. So the glutton is now always fed, all the time. You'd think that means he'd never be hungry, right? Nope. Every chance the fat kid got, the GM would open his mouth like a cavern & got "Ah! Ah!" miming the raptor's request for yet more food. I was tempted to start calling him Fatteeth.
So we get our Stones & go back to town... annnnnnnnd find it burnt to the ground with half the populace dead & the other half turned to stone.
My character recalls an old Guild associate that moonlighted with the Army that was extremely well-known for using daggers whose special property petrifies those it slays.
We find some notes & a diary that leads us to believe the "King's Army" is actively impressive children into service for an "upcoming war." And discover the town's elder more or less rebuked the demands of a royal writ saying as much. So, some of the "King's men" came, killed everyone* & ransacked the place.
*We learned there were some prisoners taken, most notable the Stone Priest, Mudman's grandmother & many of the town's children.
Wait, what? The army is forcing children into military service? And, apparently, killing young men in their prime? What kind of Full Metal Alchemist shit is this?! Something's not right here.
Now, you might be wondering about this Chapter's title...
A few days into our travels, we hit a town where we could hawk our goods. My character, who has no connection to the town's archaic rituals decides to sell his Ioun Stone & exchange it for a Belt of Dexterity, pocket the spare coin & buy some other things. Seemed like a good exchange to me.
While a few others sold theirs much later, Brugo the Fighter... immediately did the same thing. BECAUSE OF COURSE BRUGO DID, was immediately what the Druid said. And that lead to the immediate discussion of "you sold your symbol of adulthood... you're not an adult anymore." And that's how the Fighter (plus the Cleric, I think?) lost their adulting previliedges. Which also means...
The Raptor was still an adult, as he had his Ioun Stone, so, we put the Raptor in charge of the Fighter.
That's all for now!
Next time, on The Chronicles of "Of Course Brugo Did," Dinosaurs are Cows & Cows are Friends!