Off Topic: The Chronicles of "Of Course Brugo Did" - Chapter 2: Dinosaurs are Cows & Cows are Friends
>>> Chapter 1 <<<
>>> The Prelude <<<
So, we left off with the Raptor being put in charge of the Fighter (he didn't have much to say on that, by the by)...
From there we went on our merry way (which as adventurers means, running across unlikely events & monstrous encounters which result in small-scale massacres & corpse robbery). Okay, so it was merry for us. Whatever.
Anyway, we were able to use the clues & notes we discovered from our burnt-to-the-ground home to figure out where the "army" might be headed. Obviously I say "army" here with "" as we're still super-skeptical that the throne would order mercenaries with known dealings with the thieves' guild to draft soldiers (i.e., children) for an upcoming war.
Nevertheless, we don't exactly have a perfect journey...
So one time, we're hunting & traveling. I say "we" but when I say hunting, I really mean the Bloodrager & the Druid as their movement rates [well, the druid's "mount" anyway (her Raptor)] are so much higher than ours that they can forage all day & still keep pace. Yeah... Also, "our movement rate" actually being the lowest denominator... i.e., re fighter & Cleric who both wear heavy armor.
My kingdom, for a horse. Seriously. 20 movement rate is killing me here.
Anyway, the Bloodrager & Druid are out & about & what do they discover? A faerie circle of mushrooms. Do they know what it is? Nope! So they start investigating it. And the rest of us are all over here just thinking "please, do not eat the mushrooms..." over & over. At first, nothing goes on. And then...
The Raptor tramples right over the circle to answer the Druid's call...
Still nothing. Thanks for that, heart attack...
But then! A Fae does appear & has a lovely conversation with them, specifically the Druid. It was lovely enough that I thought for sure the Fae was going to pull out a tea set. And we're all over here waiting for the punchline, but it never comes. The Fae gives them a gift & sends them on their way.
Another time we went to clear out a set of ruins for a town whose potion-making business had fallen to ruin as a result of some critters moving in. It just so happened the Cleric had just gotten access to spells or effects that removed diseases, poisons & curses. He wasn't sure what to take, and we discussed spreading out too thin vs. taking things you know you'll need. He ultimately decided to not-focus-fire & took all three effects, "just in case."
How often does "just in case" happen you ask? Well, how often do you really get hit with diseases or curse in a game? Let me tell you, NOT VERY OFTEN. But... In this case....
One Hundred Percent of the time.
We encountered an unusual form of undead whose badass attack caused, you freaking guessed it, poison & disease & curse, all in one hit. And WHO got hit with it? The Rogue (me), of course... The guy who told the Cleric's player those spells would never come up.
Never hearing the end of that...
Well, shortly thereafter, we finally catch up to the "army" unit that butchered our town. But we know we can't just "linger," so how best to scout the group? Their leader, the moonlighting-rogue with the fresh to stone dagger, has wicked sharp eyes & I know it.
Enter, exhibit one, of the best Druid ever...
Epiphany! The guy won't be looking for a bird... So, I ask the Druid, hey, can you shape shift into a night bird & give us a head's up?
"Can I!? I can do that so hard!"
Next thing I know, she's an owl & is on her way. An hour or so later, the Druid comes back & gives us a report. There's about a dozen of them & they have a basilisk (which, of course, ALL of us fail our Lore rolls for, so IT'S A REAL BIG LIZARD!).
How best to... Hmm... We decide we need to set some traps & maybe do an ambush.
What does the Druid do? She does what Druids do. Goes & finds some animals.
Enter, exhibit two, of the best Druid ever...
She wanders off & tells the DM she's looking for some local wildlife for which to encounter. DM rolls... Double 00 (i.e., 100). Oh snap! And what does she encounter, you ask? Why nothing much. Just...
A FREAKING HERD OF ANKLYOSAURS!
And what does she do? Practically crits her animal handling roll whilst communicating with them & succeeds in a Charm Animal spell.
Are you kidding me right now? Somehow, we stumbled upon a herd of Huge Size CR6 armored, war dinosaurs & the Druid comes back & tells us she found some friends. Then shows us her friends.
And what does she tell them? That the people, over there, are awful people who burn forests & massacre children & families. Apparently that greatly upset the matron of the herd & thus, they offered to help us be rid of the "burners of plains."
So, the next night... We kick off the party by having the anklyosaurs rampage through the camp, which kills almost the entire run of "minions," leaving a third of them left alive.
Oh & apparently every single one of their spellcasters was trampled into paste. So there's that.
And on top of that... Ever used the spell, Pyrotechnics? Me either! Until, this game...
The "army" was gathered around a campfire, which miraculously was still burning post-trample & I used a Wand of Pyrotechnics to explode the flames into a blinding light. And every last one of them but the Big Bad was blinded for the maximum duration.
Next thing I know, I'm going to be using Minor Illusion to trick an Ogre to swan dive off a cliff. What is going on with these off-the-wall spells being so effective!?
Anyway, apparently we overprepped, because the fight was totally anticlimactic. We all charged in & mopped up. It went from 12+ on 5 to basically 2 on 5 in less than three rounds. Even the basilisk got dropped like a chump.
Then we burnt & buried the bodies & sold all their stuff to the black market in the next town :). We're the good guys!
That's all for now!
Next time, on The Chronicles of "Of Course Brugo Did," Vampire? Better get the Rice.