Off Topic: The Chronicles of "Of Course Brugo Did" - Chapter 8: Genius Raptor, Take One
>>> Chapter 7 <<<
>>> Prelude <<<
When last we left off, the whole gang had followed some evil-dryad-nymph-thing [as a result of the 14 year old half-orc Fighter-wanna-be-knight (and his hormones)] & actually discovered there really was a threat to the forest.
Strap in. Because it only get weirder from there.
We level at the close of the fight & most of us are one & done... Except... the Druid. Why? Well... she discovered that one of spells she could access at her new level of spells is... Awaken.
For those unfamiliar, it brings full sentience to an animal. Unfortunately, the book expressly states you can't cast it on Animal Companions. Fortunately, our GM said that that is dumb & told her to strike that rule.
There was much celebration as a result, I assure you. And... if you're thinking what we're thinking, then... explosions?!
Anyway, we camped out amongst the ruins of our fallen foes & waited for the Druid to cast her spell upon her Raptor. And about a day later, the moment of truth.
The spell increases the critter's Intelligence by 3d6 & its Charisma by 1d3.
Her rolls? 6, 6 & 5. 3.
We all about lost our shit. For serious. Why? Raptors have a base Intelligence of 2 & Charisma of 14. So suddenly, we've got the Stephen Hawking meets Gisele version of Raptors. That's right 19 Intelligence, 17 Charisma. And in case you were wondering, yes, the freaking RAPTOR is now the most intelligent member of the party.
And what, do you ask, is the first thing he says to the Druid?
According to the Raptor, ALL Raptors are geniuses, they're just too hungry, all the time, to think clearly. Apparently her Awaken spell simply made him "full," so he could focus on not having to eat all the time. DESPITE THE FACT HE HAS AN IOUN STONE THAT MAKES IT SO HE DOES NOT HAVE TO EAT!!!
Anyway. So, the Raptor starts learning languages as we travel & although his vocal cords don't permit him to speak, he can totally understand all of us. So, yes, that means we're running battle plans by the Raptor now. That's a thing now. Tactical-Raptor.
That also means he's now fourth in line in party leadership. I'll let you decide who's ahead & behind him (Bloodrager, Cleric, Druid, Fighter),
He's still got too much animal instinct in there to really understand society & all that, for now, but when it comes to almost everything else, he's basically a prettier Einstein.
Next thing we know, we're leaving town (he couldn't come in because it was too rich a place to be comfortable with a Raptor mount) & he's been grifting people. But not like you think. He's somehow set up a soapbox & a few sleeves of garment. And he's carved "Smiles" into the wood for passersby to see.
And then we see it. Someone walks by & the Raptor curls his head at them, like a cat. Then looks down at the sign. The traveler then nervously looks at the sign, back to them Raptor & then tosses a coin onto the box. And then the Raptor smiles as broadly (and toothy) as he can.
As a Thief... I've never been so proud.
Next time, on The Chronicles of "Of Course Brugo Did," Troll Bunny.